Jeff Stelling’s Top Ten One-Liners

Jeff Stelling is loved by football fans across the country for his encyclopaedic knowledge and witty one-liners.

As part of Jeff Stelling week, Vital Hartlepool counts down Jeff’s top ten Soccer Saturday one-liners.

10. Whenever midfielder Kevin Nolan scored for Bolton Wanderers, Jeff usually said ”his sisters will be pleased.”

9. When Guylain Ndumbu-Nsungu scored for Sheffield Wednesday, and then later Darlington and Gillingham, Jeff remarked ”Local boy does good.”

8. Whenever defender Guy Branston was sent off in a match for Rotherham, Jeff noted that he must have ”got himself in a pickle.”

7. When Billy Paynter was sent off for Swindon Town, Jeff joked that ”Paynter has had a brush with the referee and has been sent off.”

6. When Daniel Agger was booked during a Liverpool match, Jeff crossed to the reporter at the ground asking ”what did Agger Do Do Do??”

5. When Gareth Jelleyman was sent off for Mansfield Town in the 2005-2006 season Stelling replied ”Oh no! Gareth Jelleyman’s been sent off. I hope he doesn’t throw a wobbly!.” Jeff used this line again when he was sent off on the 4th October 2008, this later became the name of Jeff’s book.

4. Whenever striker Adam Stansfield scores, Jeff adds that ”Lisa will be pleased.”

3. Stelling always referred to former Northampton Town and Gretna striker Kenny Deuchar as ”The Good Doctor” due to him being a fully qualified doctor.

2. Whenever referee Andre Marriner makes a bad decision during a game Jeff comments that ”the referee is all at sea in that game.”

1. Whenever James Brown scored for Hartlepool, Jeff would sing and dance to ”I feel good.”

At the start of the 2008/09 season Stelling appeared dancing on screen with a singing James Brown figure that sang to celebrate Brown’s goal.

You can watch the clip below: